THE 5 LANGUAGES OF LOVE.

I was reading 5 Languages of Love by Gary Chapman. Good book by the way, I would totally recommend if you are interested in understanding the psychology.. I thought this could be applied to our relationship with ourselves. So here’s a few ways we can apply these …

Take the time to really evaluate your love language.

Maybe you’re someone who likes 1 of these more than the other or you like ALL. It’s hardly ever that we meet someone who also speaks the same love languages as ourselves, We have different lives and experiences that shape our emotional needs. So sometimes we expect someone to 100% know what it is that we desire and expect them to fulfill that. It is vital that we know what our love languages are for ourselves because though we can always tell someone else how to love us, we are still dealing with flawed beings who behavior often waiver based on feelings. Learning what makes you tick and what makes you happy and WHY allows you to do for yourself where others may not be able to fulfill the job.

Words of Affirmation

For me words of affirmation is a big one. Perhaps it could be that you never received positive words growing up, well enough for it to stick so now you feel like its something you need or you just like hearing good things.

Accept positive words from others whether they are compliments, feedback, …….Truly take in the ….without having to downplay it or put yourself down. Saying things like “ Who, me?” “Thank you but insert here is unnecessary. If others see something good in you that you may not see at the moment, start to self reflect. What is it about me that they see? Maybe start considering that what you see and what others see are two different things. It makes no sense to highlight the bad in you, instead just simply receive.

Even better than receiving from others is ….to yourself. Feed your mind with positive affirmations daily.

If you are someone who desires from a partner words of affirmation. Good, start first by telling yourself the positive things you want to hear and work toward becoming that so that it rings true to you.

Acts of Service

Quality Time

Spend quality time with yourself doing the things you love. Don’t be afraid to go on walks by yourself. Go to the movies. Go to your favorite brunch spot and get a table for one. Many people might find this weird but who cares. Though building bonds are essential to human survival, never be afraid of falling in love with your alone time. There will be a day where you wish you could have a moment to yourself.

Spend quality time surrounding yourself around those you love and those who love you back. There’s nothing like catching up with people who uplift your spirits and bring out the best in you.

Physical Touch

I know that first thing that probably popped in your minds when you think of physical touch.

I don’t know if this is weird but I believe it’s okay to give yourself a hug. Give yourself that pat on the back.

Aside from that love on yourself by providing physical touch. Maybe take a bath, massage oils on your skin.

If you’re in a relationship, feel safe enough with your partner to let them touch on you. Embrace the hugs and the kisses even if affection is not your thing. Make it your thing. As humans we need connection. It doesn't make sense to deprive ourselves of physical embrace.

Receiving Gifts

Treat yourself from time to time. You deserve it. When you

Accept gifts from others without feeling the need to owe anyone back or return the favor.

When you’re already used to doing good things for yourself, it then becomes easier to accept and expect good to be given to you by others.

It’s important what we recognize what we need from others, therefore we can be the first to give it to ourselves. I believe we are capable of truly receiving from others in a healthy way when we do for ourselves what we expect others to do for us. Making sure that we are not depraved of validation or ….