THINGS TO LOOK FOR IN A FRIENDSHIP

First let’s define what a friend is. Many people confuse the terms of an associate, friend . They’re blurred. This will better help you box people in the proper relationship groups: setting expectations and boundaries.

Stranger

Associate: Cordial.

Friend: Confidants. Talk to, share hopes and dreams. Fears and worries.

RESPECT.

If this person does not respect you or you don’t respect them just throw the whole friendship away. This is the base of your relationship or any relationship for that matter and determines how long it will last.

RECIPROCATION.

Make sure that you are not giving too much of yourself and receiving nothing in return. It’s simply not fair and becomes very exhausting after a while.

How to know if they aren’t reciprocating.

Make sure that your friendship is COMPATIBLE.

Birds of a feather flock together is real, y’all. As much as we don’t like to admit, the people we are most closest to will affect us in how we think... Our friendships are reflections of the type of people we are, and what we value in this life and in others. The worst thing we can do is surround ourselves with people who we genuinely do not align with. It’s as if we are pulling teeth. It’s also a burden to our souls to have to force a connection.

How to know if you’re not compatible?

1.You do not have a common interest whatsoever. You guys do not like to do the same activities or speak about the same things. I am not talking about having different opinions and views on a subject but just not wanting to speak on that subject at all. She likes to talk about Love and Hip Hop and you like to talk about ….

2. You can’t let your hair down. You can’t be yourself. You feel as if you are walking on eggshells almost ALL the time. You hide your fears and worries from each other. You cannot get yourself to open up to them because deep down inside, you do not trust them. You refuse to confide in them.

ACCOUNTABILITY.

Having people that love you enough to hold you accountable is a true blessing. That means they want to see you be better. Hold on to them. They care about your well-being.

I am always grateful for my loved ones who call me out on my bullshit and tell me when I am wrong. Being human is about learning and growing even when it doesn’t feel good.

VULNERABILITY.

True friendship requires vulnerability. Sometimes just can’t give you that…Just to be clear victomhood is not vulnerability.