WHO AM I.. TRULY?

Let’s start here. Can we admit that not being able to be you is so excruciating. I mean at least to me it is. Start evaluating these factors in your life that contribute to how you feel about yourself. You will be shocked to …..

I grew up in a household where I was who everyone wanted me to be., or at least felt like I had to be in order to feel seen. A chameleon one would say. But not in the sense of y . No, I tried that many times and failed. I was never really good at pretending to be something or someone that I wasn’t. It left me unhappy and feeling depleted. I was a chameleon hiding and blending into the background. This carried on into the outside world, with my friends, at school with students I barely even knew, my cousins and other intermediate family members. I just wanted people to accept me and like me, even if it wasn’t for me being me.

If I am being honest, I didn’t know who I was at the time. How could I? Even now as an adult, I still question who I am at my core, so how much more as a child? It’s nearly impossible to. From the moment we come out of our mother’s womb, we are bombarded with the thoughts and voices of many. We are taught how to think, what to think. What to believe about the outside world, and most importantly what to believe about ourselves. This becomes our reality. At this point in time, in our lives, we are not wise enough to have the discernment to know what is truth, differentiate right from wrong or if there is such a thing as right and wrong. We just go with the flow of what is familiar and normal among our environment.

Are you this person because you ….or are you who you are because this is what people expect you to be?

If you are not at peace with yourself, it's usually because . It’s really hard to do the internal work and change ourselves because many times we cant pinpoint the root cause of the problem. We don’t remember the event that changed us or what made us so insecure. So we try to change the external, we work on what what we can see and is easy to change..thinking that will fix the broken inward part of us. Sadly, it doesn't work that way. Our problems stem from a very secret place ..our childhood and will take some real digging to try to connect the dots to figure out why we are the way we are, why we think the way we do. No amount of plastic surgery, gym, will fix the issues you have deep inside that make you feel inadequate..they can only help appease the pain.