WHAT GOSSIP SAYS ABOUT YOU
Funny. We all love to sip a little tea until it’s about us 👀☕️
Okay, guilty! I am guilty of this, especially when someone has upset me. I get it; sometimes we run out of things to talk about... Well, let's find other things to discuss. There are far too many important things happening in the world to focus on someone else's personal issues.
“Great minds discuss events, average minds discuss ideas and small minds discuss people.”
There’s this quote I ran into that read “Great minds discuss events, average minds discuss ideas and small minds discuss people” -Elenor Roosevelt.
I don’t know about you, but I don’t want to be average, and much worse, small! It's very common to hear gossip within social groups. We've all been there… talking badly about someone. Heck, some of us just finished doing it today. And I bet it felt good! Sometimes it feels like a relief to let out all our inner thoughts, our built-up frustration, and anger toward that person. It feels too good getting everyone to agree with you. Yes, She is annoying, He is …Yes, her breath does stink.
I myself struggle with correcting this behavior, this character flaw. It is, indeed, a character flaw. We may want to portray gossip as harmless chit-chat, a time filler, or even a bonding tool for social interaction, but it's more than that.
The sting of gossip is most keenly felt when the roles are reversed, and it's directed towards us. Now you become the butt of jokes. You become the talk of the town. You are the only one who doesn't know about the whispers about you. It's downright hurtful.
We think we are hurting the other person, but we are only hurting ourselves. Gossip smears our reputation, making us appear as someone who can be:
Vindictive.
It's easy to fall into the trap of gossip, especially when we feel hurt or wronged. Those moments can feel like a release, a temporary validation of our own feelings. However, while it might provide a fleeting sense of satisfaction, the long-term consequences of such actions can be damaging to our relationships and our own self-image.
Inconsiderate.
Often, gossip is fueled by the heat of the moment, and we fail to consider how our words could harm someone's feelings or reputation. We don't even think about the long-term impact on our relationships. In our selfish need to vent, we say thoughtless things that we may not even mean. Even though people listen, they may see you as inconsiderate and uncaring, someone who speaks without thinking.
Insecure.
Usually, those who are most unhappy with themselves tend to talk badly about others. Let's test this theory. Reflect on moments when you've spoken negatively about someone. Take yourself back to how you were feeling at the time. What were you thinking? Chances are, it wasn't anything positive. Hurting the other person may have helped you temporarily ease the pain you were already carrying.
Untrustworthy.
Disingenuous. Two-faced, especially when you are doing it to someone you call a friend, someone you say you love. Sometimes we gossip because we lack the courage to say how we truly feel to someone's face. Not only that, but it also raises doubt in people. If you are capable of doing this to another person, then surely it can be done to me. No one wants to be around someone they can't trust with their secrets and personal business.
Lack of integrity.
It may come off innocent, but it actually reveals a lot about one’s character. This goes hand in hand with being untrustworthy because people will question your loyalty and begin to withhold important information and their true selves from you.
It is better to spread positivity and speak highly of someone than to tear them down. The good old saying goes, "If you don't have anything good to say, then don't say it at all." As we're all human and capable of doing human things, it's good to take some time and reflect on why we do the things we do, especially if they are hurtful to others. This is particularly important if we are looking to become better human beings, better versions of ourselves.
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