STEPS TO BECOMING A MORE LOVABLE YOU
This is going to take a lot of hard work, practice and patience. You’ve developed habits that have been installed in you for many years until this present day. A lot of relearning and brainwashing that’s going to have to take place. Things that have helped me.
1. Self reflect…
Identify all that you are—your fears, likes, dislikes, insecurities. This may take time: a day, a week, a month, or even years, depending on how deeply you’re willing to go. You might cry. No, scratch that—you will cry. You might become angry at the suppressed emotions that surface when you finally face yourself. Memories you’ve stored in the back of your mind will resurface. That’s okay—sit in it.
The purpose is to truly understand you. Too many people avoid being alone with themselves because they might discover they don’t like who they are deep down. The version of ourselves that remains trapped in our minds—the one we run from every day with distractions and company—can be scary to face. It’s easier to run from who we truly are than to admit our flaws and shortcomings.
But I dare you: begin the hard work by being honest with yourself. Examine your heart: your motives and intentions behind your actions. Be genuine in your quest for self-discovery. Lying to others is bad—but lying to yourself? That indicates a deeper resistance to acknowledging your imperfections. It is nearly impossible to love someone you don’t fully know—and the same goes for yourself.
Remember, we’re always changing. As we face new challenges and gain experiences, our fears, likes, dislikes, and insecurities evolve. Always self-reflect.
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2. Renew the mind..
Listen to podcasts, recite affirmations, read books like the Bible, or watch videos that expand your mind. Replace negative self-talk with positive alternatives. If your thoughts tell you you’re ugly, tell yourself, “I am beautiful.” If they tell you you’re unworthy, say, “I am worthy of love.”
Changing the mind isn’t easy. As it did not take one day to develop this negative habit, it will not take one day to change it. As Zig Ziglar would say: “a case of stinking thinking.” Our thoughts run on default mode, forming habits of negativity over time. Every insult, disappointment, or childhood bullying forms into insecurity—this is what shapes your inner voice.
Breaking these habits requires repetition, repetition, repetition. It will require self-awareness and intention. They say it takes 21 days to form a habit—start there. Repeat for 21 days, and then another 21, until you start seeing change and progression. Push through doubt and keep feeding your brain with positivity. Remember: an idle brain is a devil’s playground—and we don’t want him in there!
Changing the mind isn’t easy as it did not take one day to develop this negative habit, it will not take one day to change it. As Zig Ziglar would say “a case of stinking thinking.” Our thoughts run on default mode, forming habits of negativity over time. Every insult, disappointment, or childhood bullying forms into insecurity— this is what shapes your inner voice. Breaking these habits requires repetition, repetition, repetition. It will require self-awareness, and intention. They say it takes 21 days to form a habit—start there. Repeat for 21 days, and then another 21, until to start seeing change and progression. Push through doubt and keep feeding your brain with positivity. Remember: an idle brain is a devil’s playground and we don’t want him in there!
3. Acquire NEW knowledge.
Knowledge is power. Without understanding, we cannot grow. We have resources everywhere: YouTube, bookstores, libraries. Knowledge is at our fingertips—it is EVERYWHERE. It’s just a matter of how much we want to be a learner, a student of life.
We believe that learning stops after systematic education, but that’s simply not true. There are so many things to learn in this life that school can’t teach us. Experience is our greatest teacher, but it’s up to us to learn and grow from mistakes and failures. Watch podcasts, read books, or speak to people who have “been there and done that.”
Being a lifelong learner ensures growth and evolution. We are not meant to remain stagnant. If you want a new you, start with what you put into your mind first.
4. Take action!
No seriously, take action. Stop going places or doing things that don’t benefit you. Quit habits that make you feel bad—drinking excessively, staying in toxic environments, etc.
Focus on small steps daily toward the life you want. Become obsessed with taking action. Protect yourself from distractions. Quit doing things you don’t want to do and start doing things that push you closer to your dreams.
The time we’re given is precious, and life’s too unpredictable not to live a blessed and abundant one.
5. Remain consistent.
Know that what you are doing is HARD. You won’t see changes overnight. Consistency is key. Repeating the same effort over and over creates progress and eventually muscle memory.
Now if you stop? You will have to start the process all over again. Repeating the same cycle. Expecting change but doing the same old thing over and over is referred to as insanity. So why stop? What is the point in taking two steps forward to then go back four?
Remain consistent—through mundane and difficulty. Expect failures, but keep going. You only fail when you stop trying. Perfection isn’t the goal; becoming the best version of yourself is. The daily effort toward growth is what truly matters—what makes it worth it.
