DON’T LET LOYALTY MAKE A FOOL OUTTA YOU!

Loyalty—what does it mean to you?

Many wear the title like a pageant sash or a badge of honor. To not be considered loyal is appalling, almost disgraceful.

Loyalty is said to be showing up for others, advocating for them, remaining trustworthy—even when it’s hard. Dedication. Honesty. Unwavering support.

All good things, right?

But when I think of that word, I hear one thing: binding.

Loyalty gets praised a lot, but rarely examined. At what point does it stop being virtue and start becoming self-betrayal?

Because there are many definitions of loyalty—and I can tell you exactly what it is not.

Blind Allegiance.

Don’t let anyone benefit from your blind allegiance.
Don’t let anyone make you feel guilty for choosing yourself.
Your loyalty belongs to you first—and always. It’s rooted in self-respect, not self-erasure.

Pete’s been at his company for five years. For the past year, they’ve been promising him a promotion—even training him for it. Whenever extra help is needed, they know who to call. Pete always gets the job done. He stays late. He’s loyal.

Then one day, they hire someone else for the role he was promised—and ask Pete to train them.

So Pete does what he always does. Works harder. Tells himself his dedication will eventually get rewarded… and slowly turns into a peon. Don’t be a fool like Pete.

You might laugh—but trust me, this happens all the time.

Endless Grace.

One year Jane promises her best friend a birthday present after she was given money for her birthday. When her best friend's birthday comes around, Jane not only doesn’t give the gift, but she doesn’t bother to call like she said she would. The following year, Jane forgets her birthday altogether and apologizes. What does her best friend do? She forgives. Don’t be a clown like Jane’s best-friend.

Grace is choosing to forgive.

But people can misuse loyalty for manipulation—taking grace for granted.

Lack of self-respect? That’s staying available to patterns that don’t change.

Many confuse endurance with virtue, especially in relationships. A partner’s faithfulness through good and bad times can turn into an excuse to mess up one too many times.

Loyalty without ethics? That’s exploitation. Devotion isn’t met with appreciation—it’s met with obligation.

And that, my friend, isn’t loyalty. That’s teaching someone they don’t have to show up for you.

Reminder: Loyalty to Self

Especially for those who pride ourselves on being “good,” “patient,” or “understanding.”

Loyalty goes both ways. Be loyal to those who are loyal to you. And leave those who are not in the dust. That is how you show yourself that you love you and build trust with yourself.

If they aren’t trustworthy, supportive, invested, reliable, or caring, but expect those qualities from you in return, that isn’t loyalty—it’s entitlement.

Buy them open-toed sandals and tell them: kick rocks.

RELATED POSTS